Why I Chose Not To Breastfeed

Devil’s Dust or Liquid Gold? Breast is best or fed is best? Bottle or boobie?

Breast milk or formula?

When I first found out I was pregnant with Declin it seemed like everyone was suddenly interested in my boobs and if I was going to use them to feed my unborn child. 

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And so it began, the internal debate of breast or formula. It took me the whole 9 months and few days postpartum to make my decision that I felt was best for my family. Formula.

I tried breast feeding in the hospital and was so uncomfortable during the whole process and that made me dread feeding Declin. I was a new mother and I thought I hated feeding and bonding with my child. All the research I had done leading up to giving birth had told me that mothers who breastfed had a better bond with their babies and it was such an amazing experience. Yet when I was breastfeeding all I could think of is when it would be over. I was so stressed out and miserable. My husband FINALLY told me just to ask the nurse for some bottles and be done with breastfeeding.

Not gonna lie, I felt so horrible about feeding him that first bottle. But then I realized I hadn’t spent the whole time feeding him wanting it to be over. I was actually bonding with my new baby!

Once we got home I really wanted to try breastfeeding again but decided I would try pumping so Declin would atleast be given breast milk even if it wasn’t straight from the tap. That lasted about a day. I realized while taking my pump out of the bag that I was dreading feeding him again and that wasn’t what felt right to me, so I packed my pump away in the closet, made him a bottle and haven’t looked back since!


It seems like society has become so concerned with decisions we make as mothers and we are expected to do what it thinks is normal. To one side normal is breastfeeding and to the other side formula is considered the norm. Wanna know what I think should be considered normal? Happy babies with full bellies, no matter how they were fed.

My husband and I have both witnessed the disgusted looks we get from some people when pulling out the bottle and that forbidden powder, but if I were to try breastfeeding in public there would be nasty looks and rude comments as well. So what are we supposed to do?

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Just because breastfeeding wasn’t for me doesn’t mean I think everyone should use formula. DO WHAT WORKS FOR YOUR FAMILY!!

So, to wrap up my little rant for the day…

To the breastfeeding mom, whip ’em out and feed your baby! To the formula moms, mix the shit out of that formula and feed your baby! To society, leave us the hell ALONE and STOP making moms feel bad about every decision we make for our families!!

P.S. To all the moms out there making other moms feel bad because they didn’t choose what you think is best, JUST STOP! We are all in this together!

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❤️ Tori





13 thoughts on “Why I Chose Not To Breastfeed

  1. mesmerizedmama

    Thank you for writing this! I am a breastfeeding mom but I have got all the advice, looks and comments that come along with it. People asking when I plan to stop, telling me that my milk is no longer good enough for my son. Every family needs to do what’s best for them and their baby. I love this post, perfectly said.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Survivingmotherhood

    Yes! So much of what you say hits home for me! My sister-in-law who is the same age as my mother thought she was an expert! She always tried to make me feel less. I tried breastfeeding my oldest 2 for weeks. With my daughter I would cry the entire time so with my youngest I said No! I’m done with breastfeeding and he was strictly bottle. All 3 are happy healthy babies and I’m proud to say they were all 3 bottle babies 😊

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  3. Pingback: Sorry, Not Sorry.

  4. lmbadmin1

    Beautifully said. A full belly is what matters. I breastfed both of my babies, and I think the options and benefits should be given to expectant moms. A friend of mine told me with her second baby she wasn’t sure if she wanted to breastfeed because it stressed her out horribly with the first baby. She quickly followed with “I’m gonna try it I just..” and trailed off. I told her, if it stresses you out then the baby is going to get the greatest benefit from a bottle. If a bottle means you can sit and feed them and be present with them then do it. A frustrated stressed out mommy trying to nurse is not a beneficial to baby or mom. It drives me crazy that people judge mothers in this.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tori Conway

      Thank you! That’s how is was with my first and when I finally did ask the nurses for a bottle I had one that gave me a hard time about it. That didn’t help my anxiety at all. Once I made the switch it was such an amazing feeling be able to actually enjoy those first few weeks of being a new mom!


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