The Truth About Being A Stay At Home Mom

I am a stay at home mom (SAHM) to my 2 boys, Declin and Cooper. I absolutely LOVE being there for all of their milestones and I am so grateful for my husband for taking on the role as the sole provider for our family’s income. But this shit is hard!

Don’t get me wrong, I know being a working mom is super hard too and I can’t imagine having to maintain a professional life and #momlife. This is just me sharing my experience so far as a SAHM.

The most terrifying moment in my life was my first day at home alone with my first born. My husband helps run the family business so he had to return to work earlier than planned once we were discharged from the hospital. So there I was, 4 days postpartum and alone with this tiny human. I had never really been around babies before and barely knew how to change a diaper. My husband was a seasoned pro when it came to babies (he is the oldest of 7), so while we were in the hospital he had handled almost everything when it came to Declin. Why did he think it was a good idea to leave me with this baby… alone???

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At least I perfected the mom bun in the early days. Turns out, that “Motherly Instinct” everyone tells you about is real and you do actually know what to do (most of the time). 18 months later and I am at home, alone everyday with 2 of these little monsters. And it is great, most days.

Most days.

On those “other days” it is terrible. I feel so alone and isolated from the world. I feel as every toy I pick up ten times a day goes unnoticed. I feel that nothing I do is good enough for my children and even my husband. I feel like I have no idea why I thought I could make it as a SAHM. I have days where all I want to do is hide in my bathroom and cry, but you would never know that unless you were my husband.

There is this preconceived notion that all stay at home moms should be excellent at cooking, cleaning, and keeping their little love muffins busy with all the best Pinterest projects. Lets all take a moment to laugh at what a load of horse shit that is.

The truth is I spend most days trying not to lose my shit. Trying to remember that my oldest is only 18 months, that the terrible twos is just a phase and he does actually love me. Trying to figure out which screaming kid to tend to first. Trying to choose between doing the sink full of dishes or overflowing baskets of laundry while the kids are taking a short nap because lord knows it won’t be long enough to do both. You know what they say, if at first you don’t succeed to try again. Well, whoever “They” is obviously didn’t have 2 under 2, because I pretty much get one shot at everything before the boys go into full blown melt down which ends in all three of us crying.

Life goes on and Declin does something ridicuously cute or funny and I remember why I made the choice to stay home with them. But, that still doesn’t take away from the fact that being a stay at home mom is a hard job. Yes, JOB! Thats what it is. No, I don’t have set hours or have to go into an office or have an asshole boss (unless you count my toddler) or get a paycheck, but it is still a job. A job that I never get a vacation or break from. A job I never get to clock out from. A job that goes completely unnoticed because thats just what I’m supposed to do. A job that is so mentally and physically draining that I could probably sleep for days. At the end of the day it is still a job. The MOST AMAZING job I never knew I wanted.

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Seriously, what other job lets you get the sweetest cuddles?? After all this complaining you probably  think I hate being a mom, but it is the most amazing role in my life. I love being a mom. Just because I don’t love all the parts of it doesn’t mean I don’t love being a mom.

What I am trying to say with all of these words is this:

Don’t think that your stay at home mom friend has such an easy life because all she does is sit home with the kids all day. Call or text her every now and then and ask how her day is going. You never know when that call or text maybe be the only adult contact she has had all day. It may be exactly what she needs to pull her out of whatever funk she may be in. ❀️

I would love to know what being a SAHM means to you! Be sure to let me know in the comments and if you enjoyed this post share it with your friends!

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24 thoughts on “The Truth About Being A Stay At Home Mom

  1. Survivingmotherhood

    Being a SAHM is hard! I’ve done it for the past 2 years and I’ve cried ALOT! Sometimes I would just sit and cry because I needed a break and sometimes it was because the kids were FINALLY asleep. At the end of the day though there is no where else I’d rather be 😍

    Liked by 2 people

  2. mamathrivesonchaos

    Love this! When I was a SAHM it was the hardest job because there were/are so many ridiculous assumptions that the house should be neat and clean, the kids should be neat and clean, and you should have your shit together…wrong! I say as long as the kids are still alive, you did a good job. Dishes will wait, laundry isn’t going anywhere. Enjoy the good moments and triumph through the tough ones. You’re doing great mama.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tori Conway

      Thank you! That is what I try to tell myself, but it is still hard to not feel like a failure at the end of the day when it looks like a tornado came through your house. At least I keep the kids fed! 😁

      Liked by 1 person

      1. mamathrivesonchaos

        I’m right there with ya mama, I feel like a failure most days. Kids are fed and alive? Gold star for the day πŸ˜‰

        Liked by 1 person

  3. mesmerizedmama

    Being a SAHM is the hardest job I have ever had, but it is also the most rewarding. I love my little monster to the ends of the earth and pass the galaxy. But I laugh at the thought of a vacation or break, when your a mom it is impossible to get them even when you actually do all you can do is worry about your little one and think about them. Tori I’d you ever need a little bit of adult conversation don’t be afraid to give me a call. Us SAHM need to stick together.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Mommy A

    This post captures everything I felt when I had to be SAHM, but it was only for two months during my maternity leave so great job for you for being sane and managing to keep up your blog with two of eighteen months old. I can’t imagine how I survived with one, let alone two. Great job Tori! I love what you said that friends should reach out more to SAHM, I remember back then, I only have adult conversation with my husband. it was the most amazing and the craziest.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. amySo

    I was a SAHM for about six years (my youngest is 12 now so I’ve been back to work for awhile). What struck me about your post was how it made me remember the loneliness. Even if you have friends, being a SAHM is still a lot of alone time that isn’t of the nurturing, me-time sort. It is hard! But I’ve also found that being a mom never gets easier, the hardness just changes. So you have to do your best to find things that bring you happiness, peace, and joy!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tori Conway

      So true! I have to make myself remember that as they get older the struggles will change and that I really need to enjoy this time I have with them. Thank you for reminding me! ❀️

      Like

  6. getfitwithelishia

    You literally hit everything spot on!!! Im so glad to see there are moms out there just like me. It’s the most rewarding JOB I’ve ever had. Yes it is hard. Sometimes I feel like crawling in a corner and curling up in a ball. Lol but those kids depend on me. They find comfort in me. They find compassion and love and they see strength. As long as I can teach them to see the good in themselves and look for the good in everything life brings, I feel like I’ve done something right in the midst of all the hard work πŸ™‚ thank you for this post

    Liked by 1 person

  7. juliamakl

    Very very very true! Basically zero adult contact until your hubs gets home. Sometimes you literally just go stir crazy. Wish sahm lived near each other so we could start a group for adult interaction. Hahah πŸ™πŸΌ

    Liked by 1 person

  8. caffeinatedmomchronicles

    Being a SAHM is tough!! I’ve been one for about a year and a half now (after being put on bed rest at 3 months with my second) and it is definitely the toughest adjustment I have ever had to make. People don’t realize that it’s one of the hardest jobs in the world that many times goes unnoticed. We’re literally a teacher, cook, maid, chauffer all in one! I “try not to lose my shit” everyday as well, but inevitably it happens anyways (terrible twos have nothing on these terrifying threes) and then naturally you feel bad and like you’re the worst mom in the world.

    You’re doing great!

    Liked by 1 person

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