My Kids Should NOT Come First

My kids should NOT come first. Yep, I just said that.

Don’t get me wrong, my kids are my whole world and I would do ANYTHING for them but I’m done putting them first.

From this point on I am going to try my hardest to put myself and my husband first; to improve our relationship (not that it’s bad, but there is always room for improvement), to invest in taking better care of myself, and to teach my children that you have to take care of yourself before you can successfully help others.

This does not mean that I plan to neglect my children or ignore their needs, I am just saying that I have realized that me taking care of me benefits them more than me ignoring my needs. If my goal is to raise kind compassionate human beings, the last thing I want is to teach them at a young age that my world revolves around them and their demands (we all know how demanding toddlers can be). I would rather see them throw a fit for a few minutes now than to have them think the world owes them something when they are older.

As easy as it is to say I am going to start putting myself and Tommy first, it’s a whole different thing to actually do it. We have not had a date night since Valentine’s Day and not because we don’t have family and friends offer to watch the boys, they do, we just like to do things with the boys. We have finally planned a few dates coming up over the next few months and I am so excited! We are also trying to get our nutrition back in check and start being more active. Making our health a priority not only teaches the boys to do the same, but it allows us the chance to be present for more in their lives as we get older.

Sorry for such a short post but Declin is waking up from his nap and its time for lunch.

So here are my final thoughts on this topic:

I know as parents it’s hard to imagine putting something or someone before your children, but you need to take care of you to be the best you can be for them. Take time to work on your relationship with your husband/wife/significant other. That doesn’t mean you need a date night every week, but try to plan some alone time with each other. Even if it’s after the kids are asleep and you binge watch something on Netflix. Take time to invest in your health! Whether it’s making time to go to the gym, taking the kids for a walk, or simply eating better. Stop talking about doing it like I did and just do it! You will feel so much better, trust me.

Let me know how your try to put yourself first in the comments below and be sure to share with your friends!






9 thoughts on “My Kids Should NOT Come First

  1. Tarsha

    This is so true and so important! You are modeling good self care and self worth so your children can see how to be responsible and confident in themselves. You are also demonstrating a healthy romantic relationship so they can see what to expect and offer in that regard when they are grown. Finally, you are not losing your self in a pit of depression and mom guilt. You are keeping yourself physically and emotionally well so you can give your kids the best mom possible. I applaud your approach!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tori Conway

      Thank you so much! I feel like it is so easy to put ourselves in the back ground to keep everyone else happy but in return it we lose who we are and what makes us happy. I’m a working progress. 😊


  2. Taylor Padrick

    Tori, I love this! And agree completely! The Bible clearly outlines the family dynamic as God first, Spouse second, children third. By keeping things in order you will benefit everyone involved! I lived in a home where my mom put us first and hers and my dads relationship suffered, as we got older we saw the consequences of that sufferage and things got tough. When they realized it and with jesus worked to restore their relationship, their relationships with us got better. My husband lived in a home where they did practice this and I can see some of the differences. Jake and I have vowed that no matter how many babies come we will always put Jesus first and each other right after. Setting aside that one on one time will be crutial. Thank you so much for sharing your heart, as this is not the norm for the majority of the world.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tori Conway

      Thank you so much for reading and sharing your story! Tommy and I put our relationship on the back burner once Declin was born and I can tell a huge difference and we lost who we were as a couple. I am so much less stressed now that things have changed. ❤️


  3. thesoulisanchoredbyhope

    This is a great post and great reminder. As a mom of 2, my girls are my world and it seems everything revolves around them. It’s so easy to get burnt out when I am constantly putting their needs and wants above my own. Self care is so important. It is so hard to take care of others to your best ability if you are not taking care of yourself first. It is also hard to parent with your spouse if you don’t take time for each other. Date nights and building your relationship is so important. This is a goal of mine too but life happens and it’s easy to put this all on the back burner. Do you have a plan set in stone for making self care a priority and making more time for date nights and building your relationship with your husband?

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Tori Conway

      Thank you for taking the time to read! I agree, it is sometimes challenging to remember to put ourselves at the top of the list. As of right now we have tickets to go to a natural parenting convention (kid free) and we are taking a family vacation in 2 weeks and we plan to do dinner one night just the two of us.


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